I felt like doing something creative this week, so I decided to stitch a lavender sachet with a fall theme to add to my collection.
As I went through my sewing box in search of material and floss, I came upon a half finished fall cross-stitch. Perfect! I could just finish it without having to start from scratch.
As I took my first stitches, memories came flooding back. I remembered why the half-finished piece had been hidden away. When I started it years before, I had made a mistake somewhere and as hard as I tried, I could not figure out where the mistake was. I counted and recounted my stitches and although they seemed right, they didn’t match up with the pattern.
PC: Ann Kirsten
I had sewn too much to just throw it away, yet I couldn’t live with the fact that there was something definitely wrong with it. I finally ended up just hiding it and hoping I’d forget it existed. That did work for a while, until I unearthed it again.
I had a moment of panic. I have been cross-stitching for decades and I have stressed myself out by sewing complex patterns with hundreds of colors. I have meticulously counted stitches, ripped out mistakes, and done everything in my power to make things perfect, and now I had picked up a piece that was already marred with mistakes.
There’s a lot of stress involved in trying to be perfect, and no matter how hard I try, I fall short every time. And even though well-meaning people would always tell me, “No one will ever know,” I would still feel awful. I would know! And the mistakes bothered me.
But this time, as I began sewing, something changed inside of me. A voice whispered, “It’s too late to be perfect, be free instead.” I felt a weight lift off of my heart. I did feel free. I kept the pattern by my side, but when the design wouldn’t fit right, I just kept stitching. I put the leaves wherever they would fit. I added vines growing every which way. I used “wrong” colors of thread (I lost the color chart) and the more I stitched, the more mistakes I found. Some of the past cross-stitches hadn’t even been “crossed”! And it was impossible for me to find the same color to finish them.
I smiled as I stitched this crazy piece. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t worried about following the pattern. I had fallen so short of perfection that it wasn’t even on my radar. Rather than worrying and kicking myself, I rejoiced in the new creativity and freedom I was finding.
The entire time I sewed I thought of the fact that I had a Savior who loved me. A Savior who knew I would make mistakes, a Savior who knew I would sometimes forget the cross, a Savior who would take away my need to punish myself when I failed time and time again.
When I finished the piece, I was surprised to find that it was still beautiful. How could that be, when it was so imperfect?
PC: Ann Kirsten
Not only is my little sachet pretty, but I love it in a way I’ve never loved a piece before, because it reminds me that I have a Savior who loves imperfect me and sees beauty in spite of my many mistakes.
PC: Ann Kirsten
“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven – as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:47
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:19
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