“L-E-T-S-G-O, let’s go, let’s go. L-E-T-S-G-O, let’s go, let’s GO!!” I can still picture my 14–year old self, in my cheerleading uniform, and my blond bob, shouting that chant in unison with the rest of my junior high cheer squad.
I can also vividly remember being in high school and standing alone, center stage, with the spotlight on me as I performed my solo HI (humorous interpretation) for the school. I was a nervous wreck and sweated through my shirt. I felt my voice quivering and was certain I was not fooling anyone into believing that I had even a modicum of confidence. But I remember going to school the following day and seeing the superintendent in the hall and I remember him saying how impressed he had been by my performance.
I never went to state in either cheer or drama. I won a few trophies here and there but I was never the star. And still, I am glad I did it. You better believe I hated practices, I was always super nervous when performing, and I argued with some teammates. But I learned some important lessons that have stuck with me throughout my life.
As we are traveling with our kids and their classmates through their school years, we know there will be kids who will shine, kids who practice hard and who have natural talent and who genuinely love the sports and activities they participate in. There will be kids who will win incredible scholarships based on their abilities. And gosh, it’s fun to watch those kids work hard and do well, isn’t it? But there will also be a lot of kids with mediocre abilities who either aren’t invested enough to put in the extra work or who don’t have the support to do so. And do you know what? Even those kids will probably look back on their time in extra curricular activities with fondness when they are grown. I know, because I’m one of those kids.
The fact is that not all kids can be best. Sure, they can try their hardest and do their best, but there will only be a few who rise to the top. The kid who lives, eats, and breathes soccer is probably going to be great at soccer. But the kid who plays soccer just for an excuse to hang out with his buddies is going to grow from his experience too.
I recently saw a quote from Kurt Vonnegut that I loved. He said, “When I was 15 I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, “No I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes”. And he went, “WOW. That’s amazing!” And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not good at any of them.” And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don‘t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.” And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them.”
I want THAT for our kids. I want our kids to have opportunities to stretch themselves and to learn new things. It’s fun to watch teams that have talent, sure, but I also want to see kids who are willing to put themselves out there even though they’re not the best. And how fun is it to watch the super talented kids help build up the ones who are just starting to learn? I want to watch kids perform with sweat stained shirts and quivering voices because, yes they’re scared but they’re willing to try.
Earning a scholarship for cheer would have been a huge deal, but learning to root for someone else has been even more important. Winning a state title for speech and drama would have been amazing, but learning at a young age that I am able to speak in front of people even when I’m nervous and sweaty has served me well throughout adulthood. Sure, maybe I could have pushed harder and done better. Yes, I know we need to encourage our kids to meet their full potential. But man, knowing that we don’t have to be the star at everything or at ANYTHING in order to make it worth our time..well, that is priceless.
Read more of Abbie Mabary’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
