I have very mixed feelings this year about Christmas being over. I always feel a mixture of sadness and relief on December 26th. A part of me wishes the season could last longer and wants to hang on to the movies and music and cookies, and part of me is ready to slow down, clear all the Christmas out of the house, and get back to our normal routine. This year my emotions are even more back and forth.
Everything felt a bit off this December…not bad, but not quite right. We were on vacation the week after Thanksgiving, so when we got back home it felt like we were already behind. I started a part time job right when we got back and also had a sinus infection I couldn’t kick for two weeks. I was not on schedule with my shopping, baking, or Christmas cards and we never got our outside lights up. We got so far behind on the advent calendars and daily ornaments we normally do that we gave up. My friends and I talk about our Christmas anxiety, the stress brought about by trying to make all the magic happen and check off all the extra things that need to get done. Mine was pretty high this year at times.
I had to make a conscious choice at times to let go of some things I wanted to do and allow myself to stop and enjoy the things about the season that I love. The good thing about the craziness was that it helped me let myself off the hook with some things. And when I felt like the days were flying by and I was missing out on my favorite time of the year, I tried to remind myself of what really matters.
I kept going back to Isaiah 9 a lot this month and verse 2 especially spoke to my heart. It says, “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; a light has dawned on those living in the land of darkness.” This year I really needed the reminder to keep my heart focused on the Light and all that it meant when He came into the darkness of our world.
I think that sometimes when we have known Jesus for a long time, it can be easy to forget just how amazing the Christmas story really is. We lose some of the awe and wonder because it is so familiar. But we can’t fully appreciate Him or our own salvation without fully appreciating the miracle that we celebrate at Christmas. The God who created the earth and all living beings humbled Himself to become human with us and for us. “The true Light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world…the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. We observed His glory, the glory as the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:9, 14). Remembering the significance of the Incarnation helps shift everything else back into perspective.
So, while I am feeling relieved that my Christmas to do list is over, guilt about all the things I didn’t get done, and sad that the tree is about to come down, I can hold onto the significance of Christmas in my heart all year. If the stress, sickness, and being totally overwhelmed helped me to refocus on that, then I am thankful for a December that felt a bit off.
