Running Motherhood Through a New Filter

A year ago I re-entered the traditional workforce. 5 days, 40 hours, in an actual office outside of the home. And many of my coworkers are child-free.

This is a new experience for me because over the past decade and a half of parenthood, my social circle has revolved around my kids. I’ve conveniently met people through my kids’ schools, activities, or other events that have met my social needs and, quite frankly, the busyness of that season of life also leaves little time or energy to pursue other relationships.
So here I am, surrounded by people who don’t see life through the same filter. And it’s been interesting running my life through theirs.

Yes, some things are nonsensical and unnecessary (try explaining Leprechaun Traps with a straight face to someone without children). Yes, my pace of life is ridiculous when my after-work to-do includes a grocery store run, sports drop-off, laundry, school event, and a quick walk to save my sanity all on the same night. No, my evenings are not made for “relaxing.” Honestly, it’s the opposite – I get recharged at work where it’s quiet and peaceful and everything’s under control and there’s very little that could throw me for a loop.

Here’s the thing. Parenting doesn’t usually start out at break-neck speed. Sure, it starts out with sleeplessness and diaper-changing and packing diaper bags and washing bottles and some extra laundry. But it also starts out with lots of sitting and rocking and snuggling and sleeping. Then we lose that precious afternoon nap time, throw in an activity or two, maybe welcome another baby or three, and eventually pile on school responsibilities. Without realizing it our calendars are full 4 nights a week and we don’t have a free weekend for the next three months.

And I’ve found it helpful to run all that madness through the new filter to not only acknowledge that, yes, it is crazy-making, but to also acknowledge that, no, it’s not necessary. We’ve chosen a lot of this. And we may continue to choose it, or we can make choices to cut back. But one way or the other, we have to choose. We can choose.

The new filter has also given me more insight into and appreciation for the work I do. Yes, I do juggle a lot. Yes, there’s a reason I’m tired. Yes, I am pretty productive. These are things we don’t often realize when our entire social circle is running the same race as us and our lifestyles aren’t in stark contrast to one another. It becomes normal.

But it doesn’t have to be.

I’ll be honest. Life doesn’t look much less crazy now that I’ve got this new filter to run my motherhood through. But I feel more empowered knowing that this crazy is a choice. And I feel less guilt when I choose to say “no” or take shortcuts. Because we are juggling a lot and a lot if it is bananas.

Have you ever taken a step back to evaluate how much you really do? Try running your life through a new filter and see what you realize. And then, find a child-free individual and try explaining Leprechaun Traps with a straight face.

You won’t be sorry.