Every parent wonders about the “right” time to give their child a smartphone, but there isn’t a clear-cut answer. The “right” age varies for each child and family. Individual responsibility, family make-up, and differing circumstances are all major factors. So how do you know when your child is ready for their first smartphone? Here are some things to consider.
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Child Smartphone Readiness Checklist
Your child may be ready for a smartphone if:
1. They are responsible with their belongings. They don’t constantly misplace important items, and they treat their possessions with respect.
2.They can articulate why they’d like/need a cell phone. They can give reasons beyond “I’m the only one at school that doesn’t have one.” They are mature enough to have a conversation about how it will be useful, and honest enough to talk about the fun stuff they’d like to have it for, too.
3. They can moderate the technology they already have access to. Learning to moderate cell phone usage is a skill you’ll have to help them develop, but currently your child doesn’t get upset when you ask them to turn off their video game or say “no” to screen time.
4. They respect existing boundaries. Your child follows rules at school and home. They don’t regularly try to sneak screen time or disobey other guidelines you’ve established.
5. They are kind and respectful to peers. Cell phones and social media present lots of opportunities for poor decision-making. They will probably make mistakes, but set them up for success by only allowing a cell phone if they interact appropriately with others face-to-face.
6. They agree to follow any expectations that you set around cell phone usage. Every family has their own expectations, but your child understands the rules and boundaries you plan to establish with respect to their cell phone. They agree to follow them as a condition of ongoing cell phone use.
Parent Smartphone Readiness Checklist
You will have new responsibilities when your child gets a cell phone, too. You can’t make rules, hand over a phone, and expect a teen or tween to follow them 100% of the time. Before you get your child a cell phone you need to make sure you’re up for the challenge.
1. You are willing to enforce boundaries and monitoring. You are willing to research monitoring apps and take the time to monitor your child’s cell phone usage to make sure they are meeting your expectations.
2. You are willing to teach appropriate moderation and cell phone use. You understand that tech moderation is a skill and you don’t expect your child to moderate without any guidance. You are willing to establish boundaries and give them more responsibility to moderate their own usage as they demonstrate they are ready for it. You are also ready to model appropriate moderation when using your own device.
3. You are willing to deal with the consequences – and be the “bad guy” if necessary. You understand that kids make mistakes and you will encounter scenarios you wish you didn’t have to deal with. You are ready to tackle those situations head-on, have difficult conversations with your child for the purpose of helping them learn, and are ready to enforce consequences (including taking the phone back) when necessary.
As with everything in parenting, giving your child a cell phone doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. You can start with a “dumb” or flip phone to let them demonstrate their readiness before taking the full plunge. You can use our cell phone contract to set clear expectations with your child and start teaching them how to properly manage technology in their life.
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