Surviving, Not Thriving This Summer

“How is your summer going?”

Someone I often see at a group fitness class I attend innocently asked me. I paused. Do I give a generic, “oh it’s so great!” or a brief but real response? I chose the latter. I told her that my kids were having a great summer but that I am absolutely exhausted trying to make it all work. She gave me one of those truly empathetic looks that can only come from a mom who understands. Her kids are grown but she said she remembers the days of summer and how challenging it is balancing it with work.

I am not new to surviving summer as a working mom. My kids are 11 and almost 14 so I have been at this circus many times. For me, there have been different stages of summer stress throughout the years. I do not believe one has ever been easier or more difficult, just each are different.

About two weeks into this summer, it was apparent that I was living yet another season of surviving not thriving.

I am not totally knocking summer down; there are many things I love about it. Nicer weather, not nagging my teenager about assignments he didn’t turn in (yet always says there must be some mistake), my kids getting to relax more. I usually take a few long weekends or sometimes we take a week as a family for a getaway.

While there are things I love about summer, the one thing I hate seems to overshadow it all. That one thing is a lack of routine. It throws me through a complete loop. In all my years of parenting and stages of summer stress, I have never found the solution around it.

In past years it’s typically later in the summer season that the lack of routine really starts to wear on me. It hit me early this season. It could be because my job is exceptionally demanding at the moment. It could be that the early morning summer swim team practices and varying camp times led to ultimate carpool coordination which then led to my head literally hurting from it all. It could be a variety of reasons because there are a variety of stressors that come with summer as a working parent.

I know there are stressors for the part time or stay at home parent during summer too. But my life experience only lends to that which the full-time working parent goes through. The challenge of always putting the kids first but having to juggle demands of a career while doing so.

Working gives me drive as a mom and being a mom gives me drive at work. But with a lack of routine that I rely and thrive on during the school year, I find myself with a month and change left in summer and the feeling that I am surviving not thriving.

After admitting to my gym acquaintance that I was exhausted, I thought it probably was best for me to reflect a bit. That is one thing I enjoy about my commute to and from work, getting time to myself. Sometimes I listen to a podcast and often I use the time to reflect and pray. I actually pray more in my car than anywhere else.

So, that’s what I did; I reflected. I prayed. Praying doesn’t always provide miracles or solutions. But in this situation what it did for me is what the Holy Spirit often does; it provides me clarity and peace. It didn’t mean that I got home that day and suddenly felt like I had everything under control. But what my time of prayer and reflection did do was remind me that surviving is ok. I am not going to feel like I am thriving every second of life. I thought about all the balls I am juggling and the fact that while some drop, I am still managing to keep most in the air. That may not be thriving, but it certainly makes me proud that I have the drive and ability to survive in chaotic seasons.

If you feel like you are surviving not thriving whether it be summer chaos or any stage in life, you are not alone. Surviving means we are alive and hanging in there. Sometimes that is reason for celebration even though in the midst of it, it certainly doesn’t feel that way.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:2)

RELATED: