I think it’s safe to say that moms have a lot going on all year long. Even so, there are seasons that seem to be a little more packed than others! I am intentional about keeping our after-school activities to a minimum, but with two elementary schoolers and one in junior high, even one sport or activity for each of them stretches us pretty thin. We also need to bring our toddler along to most of those events which as spring hits, which makes my head spin a little as I look at the calendar! We all know how chaotic it can be to plan dinners on busy weeknights when everyone is home at different times, to coordinate who will bring which child to what sport, if their uniforms are clean, and if snacks are ready to go.
The other day I had my toddler along with me at my six-year old’s t-ball practice, early on a Saturday morning while the grass was soggy and wet. My older boys and husband had to be somewhere else and that was just fine. After-all, I’ve done this so many times that taking kids to practice is no big deal. The issue was that even though I should be great at attending kid’s sporting events by now, I still forgot the wagon and my son’s baseball hat as we ran out the door late. I felt bad that the sun was in his eyes the whole time, and although there are far worse things, I still beat myself up about it. Once practice was over and we were heading back to the car, my toddler ran too far ahead of me while my arms were full of all the things that should have been thrown in the wagon I had forgotten. I dropped the chair, my purse, jackets, and water bottles into the mud so I could catch up to him. “Stop him!” I yelled to my sweet six-year-old who already had his hands full of baseball gear. He was closer and able to head off the two-year-old before he got too close to the street, but oh boy was that toddler angry to be caught by his big brother! Once the screaming stopped and we were all buckled in heading home, I was a little out of breath and a lot annoyed with myself because I knew that would have gone more smoothly if I hadn’t been carrying so much stuff. It sounds stupid now, but how often do we do that as moms? Not only do we really beat ourselves up over the big things, but we even do it over the little things.
“Mom fail” is a pretty common saying these days. I get it, we feel like we are failing in so many ways, so much of the time. In the day and age where everything is labeled, that is one that I really don’t appreciate. I just don’t think it’s helpful to call ourselves failures. We absolutely mess up, of course we do! We are human and we are raising other humans. There are bound to be mistakes and regrets.
I grew up loving baseball. My family and I went to many Seattle Mariner games, and one of the things that has always stuck with me is the voice of the announcer. “Swing and a miss!” he would say when the batter missed the ball. It might sound silly, but I think of that phrase when I make mistakes as a mom.
How many of you have ever been too tired and forgot to have the tooth fairy put the money under your child’s pillow? It was easier to remember with our first and second children, but my third has been missed by her several times. He comes into our room very early in the morning and says in a sad voice, “She didn’t come!” One of us usually scrambles to find some quarters while the other one slowly leads him back to bed, assuring him that it isn’t light out yet so he is probably just her last stop. Then we try to make the switch while he gets comfortable in bed. Swing and a miss! How many of you have accidentally thrown their baby teeth away before they even have a chance to put them under their pillow? I must admit that has happened to me three different times. Those tiny teeth were just sitting on a napkin and as I cleaned off the counter they got tossed. Fortunately, the tooth fairy is fooled by corn kernels as substitute teeth, which my boys were delighted by!
We moms often “miss” when it comes to more important things than teeth. One such time involved my then nine-year-old son. I picked him up from school just like any other day except he looked devastated. As we walked to the car he said, “Where were you? I looked all over but you never came.” I wondered what in the world he was talking about and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. He had received an award at the school assembly that day. Parents are always invited, but I had tossed the envelope onto our fridge so he wouldn’t see it since the awards are a surprise. Between the baby, sleep deprivation, and just a lot going on in life, I completely forgot to put it on the calendar. It broke my heart to picture his sweet face scanning the crowd of parents for me. He almost started to cry and I immediately told him how sorry I was. I couldn’t believe I would forget something that was so important to him. I cried on the way home and felt like the worst mom in the world. “Swing and a miss!” played again in my head. My son of course forgave me and saw how upset I was that I hadn’t been there for him. I explained that moms just forget things sometimes and I will try to be there every single time in the future. The three-pound bag of gummy bears I gave him also helped. (Don’t worry, he wasn’t allowed to eat them all at once!) I knew that gummy bears wouldn’t be able to undo the disappointment, but I just wanted to give him something fun to show him I was thinking of him. What mattered much more than any treat, was seeing how genuinely sorry I was for making him feel forgotten.
Moms miss the ball sometimes. We even strike out-big! Amidst the strike-outs though, we hit a LOT of home runs. Just remember that next time you make a mistake. When you forget something important, lose your temper and wish you could start the day over, or have something else gnawing at you and telling you that you’ve “failed” as a mom, try to focus on the home runs. I promise you that we have a lot more points on the scoreboard than we think and many more wins than losses. In baseball season and beyond, what matters is that our kids know we are their number one fans.
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Read more of Maria’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
