Read more of Ann’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
I’ve been watching health documentaries lately. They are full of information, charts and graphs, and experts from all over the world.
I’ve learned so much:
- Eat meat. Protein should make up most of our diets. Don’t eat meat! It destroys the environment and our bodies. Eat plant-based only.
- Carbs are evil and the cause of obesity and disease. No! Carbohydrates have been wrongly vilified. Eat whole grains.
- Add saturated fats into your diet, it is false to think they cause cardiovascular disease. Don’t eat fat of any kind! Hidden fats are the cause of our obesity epidemic.
- Soy is an excellent source of protein. No, soy is poison! Avoid soy, corn and wheat!
Do you see how confusing this all is? Even the “experts” can’t agree on a proper way for us to eat.
Isn’t it much the same with motherhood? From the time your baby is the size of a tiny jellybean inside your tummy, the “experts” come out to tell you how to be a proper mother.
And, like the advice I got from those health documentaries, “mom-advice” is confusing at best:
- Everyone should breastfeed! Who cares, as long as your baby is fed well and cuddled?
- Get your child on a sleep schedule as soon as possible. Skip sleep schedules, they’re ridiculous and a waste of energy.
- Don’t feed your baby on demand, they will become spoiled and needy. DO feed on demand. You will have a calmer, happier baby.
- Holding your child too much will destroy their ability to self-soothe. Strap those babies to you and let them have the security of knowing mom is there!
Aaagh! It’s enough to drive any mom crazy!
Having the benefit of hindsight, my advice would be that no advice is foolproof. Every child is different and so is every mom. What worked for one of my kids rarely worked for any of their siblings. Just when I thought I had everything worked out, another child came along with their own set of unique differences and I had to start all over again.
I would also say that I spent way too much time worrying about how to mother the “right” way. I wish I’d ignored all the “experts” and just done what felt right to me. I wish that when well-meaning folks arrived with their advice and criticism, I had said, “This works for our family,” and left it at that.
Of course, as I mentioned, that is hindsight speaking. Now, if someone would just tell me what to eat and what not to eat, that would be great. I have a feeling that is as varied a subject as motherhood.
And, maybe that is the way it is meant to be.
12 Rules for Raising Children by Ann Landers: Timeless Parenting Advice That’s Still Relevant
