I could count on one hand the number of Sundays that my family and I missed church during the first several years of my kids lives. It was an absolute priority when it came to our routine and we loved it. My husband and I both volunteered each Sunday and sometimes during the week. We led groups, some of which we hosted in our homes. We met an amazing group of friends all in the same phase of life as us with growing families.
Some of those friendships have turned to be life-long. Or at least I am guessing that will be the case considering it has now been 13 years since we first met.
Over the course of those 13 years a lot has changed. Life became busier in new ways and we found ourselves not able to commit in the same capacity we used to. Those Sundays and weeknights became filled with sports practices or games. The routine we once kept when the kids were young became much harder to maintain as we started to be at the mercy of the kids schedules versus our schedules which used to revolve around things like nap time.
We still make our faith a priority and in a lot of ways that has grown with our family too. As my kids get older, sometimes the problems seem bigger so my prayers are bigger. My relationship with God is constantly maturing. I am often confused on how to parent, when to step in or not step in, navigating the teenage hormones. All the things. The prayers are big and I often don’t even know what to pray for; but I love the discussions I have through prayer.
Thirteen years ago, I never would have guessed that our current schedule sometimes means that how we serve and attend church would change.
Thirteen years ago, I didn’t realize what life would be like in my now current day, and I love thinking back to that version of me. I find myself reflecting on how we served in the church, the community we built, and how that has changed with the seasons of parenting.
I’ve realized as you look at seasons in your life, there are going to be times when you can serve and attend in different capacities. This is okay. You should not feel guilty.
I think church is one of the best things someone should do if they are looking for community and a play to grow in faith. That feeling of belonging and finding others through church groups or volunteering is something we all need. It is certainly where I found my greatest friendships in life. I think our bonds are strong because they were built on faith. We have that in common at the core.
When we don’t go to church on Sunday, it doesn’t mean that I am all of a sudden not a Christian or I don’t prioritize our faith. However, I have learned as the seasons have changed that I don’t want to be a Sunday Christian. I want to weave my faith into my everyday life. I want to teach my kids that as well. We aren’t Sunday-Only Christians. My kids do typically still go to youth group during the week and we do try to schedule life around that when we can. There is something invaluable about hearing the words of a pastor and connecting with others in a place of worship that fills me up. I want my kids to have that regularly.
I understand and feel the power of church.
When my kids were younger, I honestly think that our church helped me to survive. It was a much-welcomed break in some ways with the kids going into Sunday school while I sat with my husband and a hot cup of coffee listening intently to the sermon and breathing in every second. Church helped me find that long-lasting community I so desperately needed but didn’t know until I found it. My friends and I say that we don’t know what we would have done in those early years had we not had each other.
I could say in some ways with the larger challenges arising as my kids get older that I need church more than ever. I need my faith more than ever. I need that relationship with God to talk through the challenges. I still find community in church and am sure to build relationships that make me a stronger mom and wife. I know that my faith will need to continue to grow and not stay stagnant.
But I don’t let myself feel guilty when I see that the ways we are involved and the ways we serve have had to change as our seasons have changed! This is part of life. God calls us into different things during different seasons and I want to embrace that.
Communities like AllMomDoes are wonderful no matter what phase of parenting or life you are in right now. Leaning into a variety of ways to build relationships, learn and grow is something I find invaluable.
The bottom line is that church can have a valuable and beautiful place as part of your parenting journey. I would encourage you to connect with your local church. Also, plug in as well. Most importantly follow God’s lead on where he would have you serve. You might be in a season where you just need to show up. You might be in a season where you need to be all in. You might be in a season where you can only make it once a month. Whatever season you are in, trust God to show up and lead the way. Building the habit of church attendance and connection is a great legacy to share with our children.
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Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
