There we were, all crammed into a car heading to a holiday fair; mom, daughter, granddaughter and aunt. As we drove down the road laughing and singing, we resembled a scene from a Hallmark Christmas movie. For, in that moment and in that car, we were a wonderful representation of a family who supported each other and loved each other with full hearts.
Now, maybe after reading that first paragraph you kind of want to throw up a little bit. I know I would if I weren’t the one writing it. But, there’s more to this story.
See, some of us in that car aren’t used to having a loving family. In fact, the very word “family” caused us nothing but pain for years. There are many reasons birth families let us down. Sometimes, there is mental illness or addiction in the family. Perhaps a death has left us feeling abandoned and alone, or just personality differences separate us.
Whatever the reason, many of us spend years trying to fix relationships with people who aren’t really interested or capable of creating a loving family. And, even though we keep hope alive in our hearts long after it is logical to do so, we are disappointed time and time again.
The famous saying goes: “You can’t choose your family”.
But, is that really true? Because, that loving family in the first paragraph? Well, we aren’t all related, not by blood anyway. We had holes in our hearts that our families just couldn’t or wouldn’t fill and we finally decided to fill them ourselves.
We did choose our family.
And, why not? We adopted each other and we couldn’t be happier about it.
As time has passed, we can’t remember who adopted who first, but we now celebrate birthdays and holidays together. We have inside jokes and we are there to support each other through all the milestones in life, good and bad. In other words, we are family in the best sense of the word.
Because, there is no cut-off date for getting the family you have always wanted. It certainly didn’t happen in the way we expected it to. But, isn’t that true of pretty much all of God’s blessings? We think we know how things “should be” and then we are shocked when God has other plans.
He blew all of our pre-set notions of family out of the water and instead gave us a different version. And, as usual, it’s a beautiful ending to what appeared to be a curse for so long. We learned so much more and grew far wiser because we didn’t get what we wanted, when we wanted it.
So, thank you, Father. Thank you for this crazy hodge-podge family of mine. I love them dearly and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
