The middle. It’s a hard place to be, just ask my sons. Not blazing many trails and not reaping the benefits of being the baby (the baby of our family has recently been singing an original tune called “I Am So Special”).
The middle is hard. The beginning of a project is exciting, the end is filled with relief, but the middle is just work.
The seasons in my life that have been lived on middle ground have been my most challenging. Those times when my heart and my mind were ready to adopt but the courts weren’t quite there yet, when there was NOTHING I could do to change the outcome, not a person I could call or email or text or bribe (I probably would have), just wait.
The middle is the waiting. Waiting to grow up, waiting for an answer, a diagnosis, a court ruling. But the thing about those hard, waiting, middle times? My faith was the strongest it’s ever been. Because there was nothing I could do, I leaned hard on God. Since there wasn’t an authority on earth who could change the outcome that was willing to listen to me, I talked to God. I tested all His promises and He proved them all true. And the miracle of it? I wasn’t deliberate about any of it. I didn’t recognize my middle-ness and have the wisdom to know that I needed God more than ever. I am just not that astute or self-aware. God did it. He found me in my middle. He sought me out and pulled me close and protected my heart and grew my faith.
There’s a bit in the Bible about rejoicing in our suffering. It sounds nuts really, but the suffering, the middle, the spaces where we are most vulnerable and in need of God are the exact spaces where I believe He does His best work. And that is worthy of rejoicing.
So if you find yourself in a middle place, a hard waiting, let God hold you while you’re there. Test Him, question Him, heck you can even be mad at Him if you need to (I promise He can take your mad), and let him show you just how much He loves you.
Read more of Abbie Mabary’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
