About this time every year, I start getting really nervous. I’m worried that my kids are going to start raising questions about Santa’s pointy-eared assistant who likes to dwell on the furniture of your house. Also known as, Elf on the Shelf.
Don’t get me wrong: it’s a fun tradition and people come up with the most amazing ideas for it. But still, I live in dread of my kids finding out. Why? Because I just don’t have the bandwidth to come up with new mischief for an elf to get into each night. Having to do that day after day, Christmas season after Christmas season, is just not a commitment I’m ready to make.
I promise, I’m not a total grinch. We celebrate this holiday our own way, talking about Jesus’s birth and making memories with our kids where we can. We do Advent activities, watch our favorite Christmas movies, decorate a tree, make crafts and cookies, and go to events. And there are also years where we barely get the tree up in time. Still, it is more than enough for my kids.
But I can worry that they’re missing out.
Christmas is supposed to be magical, and I’m the one that is supposed to make that happen, so if it’s anything less, then I’m the one that’s falling short.
For the most part, that worry doesn’t come from the Holy Spirit, or hanging out with friends, or something my kids said. It usually comes via scrolling social media and spying on what everyone else is doing.
Suddenly what I have to offer seems meager in comparison. My gift-wrapping skills are subpar, our one Christmas tree filled with eclectic decorations pales in comparison with the several elegant trees in someone else’s house, and I fear we aren’t hitting all of the traditions like visiting Santa and going ice skating. The overwhelm and the guilt set in, during a time of year that I know full well is all about the grace and peace ushered into the world with the birth of Jesus Christ.
Dear friend, if I can encourage you in any way this season, let it be with this:
Let the Pinterest Mom in you take a holiday.
We are so very hard on ourselves as moms, and honestly, we can be pretty hard on other moms too. Getting motherhood “right” is the study of many women, and in order to do that, we have to do and be and provide all the things for our kids, as dictated by society and what others around us are doing. It’s exhausting and impossible.
Fortunately, God isn’t asking you to be the best mom ever. He’s asking you to be the mom your kids need. What they need isn’t necessarily a holiday that checks all the boxes or looks a certain way. Instead, they need to know the love and care of the Creator who made them, the One who sees them and came down to earth just to be with them. They need to know that you love them, too, enough to be present with them, to laugh with them and to be curious about them. And they need to know that this season, and life, is so much more about giving to others than whatever we could get for ourselves.
How can we be intentional about letting go of expectations and being present during the holidays?
Start the day with intention.
Sometimes in the rush to get it all done, we neglect needed and important time with God! Before you reach for your phone to check your email or social media, start your day with reading and prayer, and ask Him to make it clear what he has for you to do today (and to be able to surrender the rest).
Next, take a few minutes daily or weekly to write down what you need to get done, and to look at your calendar. Organization isn’t my greatest skill, but I notice such a difference when I take the time to make it happen, especially in the busiest weeks of the year. If I lose intention, overwhelm follows.
Set priorities.
We are teaching our kids about the priorities we hold closely in this season, evident in our attitudes and behavior. If we’re racing to do all the things and do them perfectly, but are left burned out and cranky, we’re choosing hustle and appearances over loving God and others.
Instead, decide on priorities like togetherness, praising God for His gifts, and giving to others. Find activities that align with those priorities: maybe giving everyone in the family a turn to choose a favorite activity each weekend, singing along with worship music and praying in the car, and donating gifts to those in need. Be sure to not over plan, leaving some breathing room in your schedule for rest between events. These goals can be achieved just as easily at home as they can out and about.
Do what you can; let go of what you can’t.
Here’s the thing: God created you to be the mother they need, and He equipped you to live that out. Alongside the call to raise your children to know Him, He also gave you gifts and talents to do this motherhood thing your very own unique way.
If you love to decorate, invite your family to join you in making the house beautiful! If decorating isn’t your gift, go out to see Christmas trees or lights in the area. If you love to cook, bake cookies together for friends; if not, grab some store made cookies on the way to the party. Do what makes you shine, and give your children the chance to try things with you to figure out their own gifts. Don’t cave in to the pressure of doing all the things.
Turn off social media.
If it’s not helping your mindset this year, here’s your permission to delete the app for a while. You don’t have to spend time stressed over what others are doing. The more present and engaged you are with your kids, the more fun they’ll have and the stronger your relationships will be.
How will you release pressure and expectations this holiday season?
PIN THIS!
Read more of Jenn’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
