Do you ever just want to step off and hide from the world for a while? Does the constant influx of technology wear you out? Do you struggle with where to draw the line on screen time for yourself and your kids?
For most of us, I think the answer to all those questions is yes.
In the old days it was a bit easier to escape from the world and the daily stressors of life. We could unplug the phone, turn off the TV, hide in our homes, and find some solace.
Today, news and problems tend to follow us wherever we go. We have these little computers (phones) on us at all times that give us updates on world events and a constant stream of videos of people acting up 24/7. Our phones demand our attention even when we try to lessen their power. What if the kids get sick at school? What if there’s an accident? Our phones seem to yell, “Answer me, it could be important!” at all times of the day and night (mine is ringing right this minute).
I remember when I was young and my mom and I came home from the store. The Fuller Brush man was walking up the street, and seeing us he knocked on our door. My mom ignored it. I was horrified. “Mom, he saw us come home, he knows we’re here!” She looked at me calmly and said, “This is my door and I don’t have to answer it if I don’t want to.” I was still dumbfounded but I never forgot that lesson. I could choose whether or not to answer my door? Who knew? I need that reminder these days.
I was also the fixer in my family and friend group. People called me constantly wanting to vent and have me solve whatever new issue they had in life. The problem was that I tended to take their problems on as my own, and long after they were over it, I would lie awake and worry for them. That meant that sometimes I had to hide to recharge.
I created a code for my husband and best friend. If they wanted to talk to me during my hiding times they would call and let it ring once, hang up, and then call again. That was my signal that it was safe to answer the phone (there was no caller ID). That allowed me to ignore all the other times my phone rang.
My house was the gathering place for the neighbor kids so I trained them that if my curtains were closed, they were not allowed to ring the doorbell and that my kids weren’t available to play. That gave me a much-needed break from the constant chaos.
It feels harder to hide from the world today. Yes, we have caller ID now, but those darn phones follow us wherever we go. They are not tethered to the wall like they used to be.
And the people who tend to cause us stress have access to us every day. While we used to be able to limit our exposure to them to Christmas Cards once a year, now if we’re not careful we see their online posts every single day. It’s too much.
One of my daughters noticed that whenever her phone pinged her kids would come running to see what it said. She didn’t want their lives to revolve around screens and so she took dramatic action. She deleted Facebook and Instagram off her phone. She turned off sound notifications and the whole family has gotten used to the fact that she will not answer a text or message immediately. She, like me, had to set boundaries to protect her gentle heart. She now lives in the moment with her kids and they have thrived because of it.
I will be the first to admit that I tend to look at my phone way too often. I am always horrified when my phone announces what my weekly daily average was. Let’s face it, phones and screens are addictive. Never before have we had the world at our fingertips like we do now. It takes strength to shut that down.
I have found a few things that help me control my screen-time.
When I’m with another person, my phone stays in my purse. Uninterrupted communication is a dying thing and I’ll be darned if I allow it to take over my time with friends. The people around me are way more important than whatever latest thing my phone wants to tell me.
I also turn my ringer off when I’m sleeping. Rest is important and I don’t want to be interrupted by constant rings and dings.
I have become more liberal in my use of blocking people on social media. This is akin to my mom not answering her door back in the day. My social media accounts belong to me and I don’t have to “open the door” to posts that cause me stress. I recently blocked a friend who I’ve known for 49 years. Her political rants made my blood pressure rise every day. I waited to feel guilty, but I felt nothing but relief. Once a year Christmas Cards will be enough.
When the world gets to be way too much, I tag my husband and say, “You’re it!” and I go in my room and turn on my white noise machine. It’s amazing what ten minutes of calm will do for your soul.
Speaking of soul, Jesus quite often stole away to revive himself and to be closer to God. He hid away to rest, to grieve, to ready Himself for what lay ahead, and to pray. That means that I can (and should) emulate that without feeling guilty.
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:35
“He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” Mark 6:31
As I traverse this crazy world, I will follow Jesus’ example and steal away as often as I can to rest and find communion with my Father.
How do you turn off the world?
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Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
