A lot of learning happens in the summer, and it can happen without any planning on your part.
I see moms today filling their kids’ summers with back-to-back activities, lessons, and camps, and I feel sorry for those kids. They are missing out on the most important teaching that summer offers.
The catalyst for all that learning? Boredom.
Boredom is perhaps the greatest teacher a kid has. Don’t be too quick to rush in and grab that away from your child.
The summers of my youth were different from those of today. For one thing, we were always outside. The main reason for this was that there was nothing to do inside. There were no video games, no internet and no cable or DVD shows to watch. Being inside was boring!
Let me tell you, there is nothing that will bond a group of disparate kids like boredom! My neighborhood was full of kids of all different ages and with very different interests, but in the summer, we became a gang in the best sense of the word. We learned quickly that we either found a way to get along or we were going to have a very boring summer!
In the absence of electronics and fancy toys, the cherry tree in our yard became a pirate ship. Kids of all ages became pirates together. The older ones would climb to the top (the crow’s nest) and survey the neighborhood. The younger kids were on the lower branches where they were safe. There was even a “plank” and whenever someone was being rude or not playing fair, they were made to walk the plank. The offenders weren’t allowed back in the tree until they showed sufficient remorse. We learned a lot about fair play and watching out for each other by being in that tree. If we’d been inside playing video games, we never would have become pirates.
Sometimes, we were allowed to walk into town as a group. We clutched our nickels and pennies and gathered in front of the candy counter. The older kids taught us which candies gave us the most for our money and we left the store with tiny bags of treasure and a sense of independence and freedom. We learned high finance on those summer walks.
One memorable summer, my dad built a rope swing. It was a simple structure built of long 4×4’s with a rope and a knot. But, to us, it was as grand as the Taj Mahal. We instantly had the most popular yard in the neighborhood. We walked around with blisters covering our palms for weeks. Unable to even hold on to the rope at first, we were soon hanging upside down and timing each other to see who could stay on the longest. We learned perseverance on that rope swing.
We built elaborate towns in the gravel in front of the neighbor’s house. They were simple structures made out of sticks, but the road systems were laid out in fine detail and the city planning was epic. There were Post Offices and grocery stores, gas stations and homes. I heard the neighbor tell my mom that he parked at the end of the street and walked home because he couldn’t bear to ruin our work. We learned a lot about democracy and city planning while building those cities.
Parents in those days resembled the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon. They existed somewhere on the sidelines, but they never interfered with our play. If someone went inside to tattle, they were usually met with: “Well, you must have done something first, go make it right!” We very quickly learned that we had to figure out conflict resolution on our own.
In this day and age, parents seem to feel that they have the burden of keeping their kids entertained. Our moms felt no such compulsion and I tried to be that kind of mom as well. My kids quickly learned that saying, “I’m bored” meant an immediate chore was assigned, no exceptions. As a result, they became adept at making their own creative fun and they caught themselves before “I’m bored” ever came out of their mouths.
So, dear mom, what lessons will your children learn this summer? Sure, they may learn things from camp or summer tutors, but the real-life lessons are learned from boredom. Remind your kids that boredom relief is their responsibility, not yours.
Once they come to terms with the fact that you won’t be jumping in to entertain them, you will be amazed at their creativity. May I also suggest using my chore rule whenever they say the dreaded, “I’M BORED!” words? It really works. Make them carry out the chores and your house will be cleaner, and they will quickly learn that mom is not an activities director.
Then, make yourself a tall glass of iced tea, put your feet up, turn off the electronics and watch your kids from a distance. You will be amazed at how much learning goes on in these lazy, summer days!
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Read more of Ann’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
