For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed things like organizing and having things planned out. I have never been spontaneous and, to my knowledge, have never been described as laid back. I like structure, order and find myself uncomfortable when things are overly relaxed (according to my definition, at least).
Sure, I try to play it cool sometimes. I try to act like I can be chill and go with the flow. But the truth is that is really challenging for me. Having an easy breezy attitude is just not my natural approach despite having to fake it sometimes.
I never really thought about what certain category this might put my personality in until a few years ago when someone made a comment about me being Type A. My first thought was, “excuse me”? I am by no means some over-the-top strict, stringent, my-way-or-the-highway type of person. But then I thought a bit more about it, read a bit on what is classified as Type A and quickly discovered that while I might not totally fit into the definition, I certainly stray that way versus others types that would be more of that laid back style.
Honestly, on a day to day basis, I see nothing wrong with this. I have a demanding career and two elementary school aged kids and somehow have not had a complete meltdown, yet. Small meltdowns, absolutely. I believe that thriving in organization and having a constant motor to get things done is why my household runs well, most of the time.
Until it doesn’t.
The problem is that having a desire to be organized and not miss a beat comes at a cost. That cost is that I put pressure on myself. Pressure to ensure that laundry is always done. Pressure to succeed at work. Pressure to not miss a soccer game or, gasp, forget I was supposed to bring snacks to a game and be forced to grab something last minute without it being planned out. Pressure to keep all those balls in the air all the time.
What happens is that when a ball drops, I am entirely too hard on myself. Cue the small meltdowns. The benefit of being one that is more laid back is that they know truly nobody else cares if they are behind on laundry or if they forgot to sign up for parent teacher conferences. Heck, reminders are almost always sent out!
When I have an extra hectic week at work combined with a busy week of kids extracurricular activities, instead of giving myself grace and not worrying about something as insignificant as a messy house or the kids eating Taco Time, I tend to beat myself up internally. This obviously only adds to my stress. The only way I can recover is to find time to get things back in order. To get my household caught up, to create and complete an agenda in order to reset my brain. But that cycle just continues.
Despite knowing the downfalls that the Type A tendencies can bring to my life, I have definitely accepted that it is just how I am wired and that I thrive off of the benefits that it can bring on most days.
Do you tend to be more laid back and spontaneous or do you thrive off of set plans and order? We’d love to hear!
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Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
