A shopping list for me is merely a guideline. Which means there will be detours and pit stops to gather other necessities along the way but in the end, we will get to the finish line because we have the guidelines. For my husband on the other hand, a shopping list is a legally binding contract.
It was so bad in our first year of marriage, we decided that for the health of our marriage, it would be best if we did not go grocery shopping together. For example, if I pointed out an amazing deal, my husband would be like is it on the list? And I would in shock reply; but it’s on sale! Then this whole back and forth would ensue, leaving the both of us frustrated and not in the best place emotionally and physically. I could not for the life of me comprehend why one would not jump at the opportunity to buy an item at 50% off! On the other hand, my husband was so confused as to why this grown-up woman could not understand the concept of budgeting and sticking to a shopping list that we had both written and agreed on before leaving the house. Thank God we finally got to a place in our relationship where we could communicate efficiently, without taking things personally coming to a genuine and mutual agreement on shopping. It took practice, humility, a whole lot of compromise, thinking of the needs of others and seeing things from their perspective. In short, it took work. We are so much better at shopping together now that we actually make shopping a family field trip!
But as many of you have experienced in your marriage and family, just as you get over one hump, another one emerges. Enter children. The children would ask for every treat, snack and toy within their eyesight. I felt bad constantly saying no so we started giving them the talk before we left for the store. You know that talk. You have probably had it countless times with your own children. It goes something like: we are going to buy groceries. What are we going to do? Buy groceries. That’s right. Mummy and Daddy have a shopping list which means we stick to the list. Candy, treats and toys are not on the list today so please do not ask me if you can have any, ok? But guess what is on the list, strawberries! Wohooo! Who wants to help me load those into the cart? Me!!! Ok. Behave yourselves now! And so forth. With confidence and a hopeful attitude we then enter the store, and guess what the first question is, can we buy that candy? Ooooh! Mummy can we get those cookies, and so on. It got to a point where we would avoid any aisle with candy or cookies at all costs like the Bible says to flee from temptation. It took consistency and perseverance on our part to teach them about healthy foods and un healthy foods so they do not ask for junk food as much. It was not pleasant for them at in the moment to see all these treats they considered delicious but could not have and it was also not pleasant for us as parents to keep saying no to their requests, seeing their little faces sad and disappointed is not fun, but our motives were right and this is a training that they needed to mature into human beings that are able to make the right choices regardless of what their feelings are telling them to do.
The Bible teaches us in Hebrews 12:11 how no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. This verse helps us have a much more welcoming attitude to discipline. In recognizing that the unpleasant and sometimes even painful aspect of the discipline will yield blessings in the end helps us soldier through it. Because a harvest takes time. When a tree first bears fruit, it is unripe and sour, but with time, the fruit matures and sweetens. the beautiful result of a righteous life that is pleasant in the sight of God.
We will ultimately be benefited by trials and discipline as it yields the fruit of righteousness, peace and the beautiful result of a righteous life that is pleasant in the sight of God. This benefit however is reserved for those who are actually trained by and learn from the discipline.
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