Mornings are notoriously hard for moms and kids. Whether you’re trying to get everyone out the door for school, daycare, or your latest MOPS meeting, kids don’t live with the same sense of urgency we do. Our pleas to “hurry up!” frequently degrade into frusration and yelling, resulting in angry moms and unhappy kids. Thankfully, there are a few things you can do to take back your mornings and reduce the chaos.
Reevaluate how much time you really need in the morning. This post gives you a more clear description of how to calculate this, but the short version is: you’re probably not giving yourself enough time. Stop being so optimistic about how much time you need, because things will never go as perfect as you expect them to. Outline every single task you (and your kids) need to do, assign a time value to it, and work backwards from the time you need to leave the house to determine what time you actually need to start the process and wake the kids (and yourself).
Start the night before. You don’t have to do everything the night before, but if you’re struggling to get things done in the morning, see what you can shift to the previous evening. Things like packing backpacks, setting out clothes, and packing lunches are great things to do at night in order to take some things off your (or your kids’) morning to-do.
Wake up before your kids. Oh, you knew this was coming, didn’t you? But TRUST ME on this one. You don’t have to be up, dressed, and showered – but you just need to be awake and alert enough to feel that you’re in control of the day. Whether it’s 15 minutes to enjoy a cup of coffee or 2 hours so you can have some rejuvenating alone time, get up and start your day before your kids. If you hate the thought of waking early, just try it once. Get up a half hour before your child needs to be up, and see what a difference it makes. You’ll be amazed.
Have the kids wake on their own. I know there are always some outliers, but for the most part kids (especially younger kids) will wake naturally when they’ve had enough sleep. If your kids consistently need waking, they’re probably not be getting as much sleep as they need and you might want to consider an earlier bedtime. This gets a little trickier once kids get older, as their natural circadian rhythms begin to adjust and they start to prefer sleeping in. Give your kids an alarm clock to put the responsibility on them to wake up. Yes, you may need to prod them to get out of bed eventually but don’t take full ownership of this task.
Turn off the TV (and other distractions). Here’s a confession: I love watching The Today Show in the mornings. I get up 2 hours before my kids and I love having it on in the background for those last few minutes before they wake up. But I can’t have it on once they wake up because it turns into a HUGE distraction for both me and the kids, even though they’re 0% interested in the content. For awhile we were listening to music in the mornings, until I realized that was a distraction for them, too. My daughter would come straight out of bed and start coloring, so I make sure markers and art supplies are out of sight. If something’s a distraction that you don’t have time for in the morning, get rid of it.
Have a clear routine. This doesn’t have to be super-strict, but just make sure your kids know what tasks need to get done each morning. Some kids will remember, others might need a visual checklist. Whatever method works for your kids, help them to know what you expect of them each morning – get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb hair, put on shoes, find jacket, etc…
Have easy breakfast options available. You may be able to cook a hot breakfast for your family. Or, you might want something that’s grab-and-go. It’s always nice to have quick options available if you’re in a time crunch – breakfast cookies, toaster waffles, granola bars, protein shakes, boiled eggs, breakfast egg cups, cereal and milk.
Gently remind your kids to stay on task. If you were a fly on the wall in my house each morning, you’d hear one phrase over and over. “Take care of your business.” This reminds the kids that they aren’t on task and puts the responsibility back on them to get back on task. Yes, it’s annoying to hover over them all the time but eventually they internalize these reminders. One morning I was running behind and was basically in the shower during the entire time my kids were supposed to be getting ready for school. I’d kind of resigned myself to the fact that we were going to be late until my kindergartener knocked on the door fully dressed, jacket on, asking for help to brush her teeth and do her hair. Both kids had packed their luches and done everything they needed to do in order to get ready for school – completely unprompted. I was blown away and realized the incessant coaching was finally paying off.
Put the responsibility on them for a good morning. Mom, we set the tone. When we’re not frantic ourselves because we planned well, it’s easy to spread that peace to our kids. When we’re frustrated and feeling like we’re behind the clock, the whole morning can go sideways. So we have a huge role to play, but we also need to remember that our kids have a part in it, too. Reward them with free play if they finish all their morning tasks early (including shoes & jacket), or implement a consequence if they don’t.
Mornings are hard. And they can be particularly challenging if you’re parenting small children that can’t do as many tasks independently, or if you have a child that has an attention disorder or struggles to focus. But being a little more intentional about the morning hours can make a world of difference, build independence and other critical life skills, and help your kids start their day off on the right foot.
What’s your best tip for a drama-free morning with your kids?
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Avoid the Morning Tornado of Chaos
Read more of Kristina’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
