Tips On Finding Balance For The Working Mom

Balance.

A word I became immediately aware of when I became a mom. A word that often still swirls through my head even after over 14 years of being a parent. A word that lately I have decided has no business in my vocabulary because I quite simply am not even close to achieving it.

There have been seasons in my life before like this one I am currently in. Where my career is taking the front seat and I am having to juggle things constantly to keep it that way; at least for now. This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t drop everything for my kids or my husband. Of course I would. But on a typical day lately, my work has been taking up way more space in my life than it normally does.

It didn’t start slow. There was one day where things shifted at work and it was this immediate shift to an all-hands-on deck, long hours often needed sort of environment. But because I have had similar seasons like this before at work, I know that truly this too shall pass. I will not be operating at this speed or long days in the office as a norm forever.

I remember when I was newer to being a working mom and times like this would completely overwhelm me. Looking back, all I can say is- yeah, they absolutely should have overwhelmed me so I think my reaction was spot on. It’s hard to know that this too shall pass when you have not experienced it before.

During times like this, pretty much all of my normal “set my week up for success” sort of goes out the window. I still do the things I can, but I also give myself lots of grace. I go into more of a survival mode for myself and my household. The things I normally would let absolutely stress me out around the house have to take a back seat. I know that a huge pile of laundry really isn’t the worst thing in the world.

While I don’t think there is such thing as a perfect balance in mom-hood, I have experienced phases of life pretty darn close to achieving it. Balancing a career or school or relationships with parenting is something that will forever make for good material because it’s something we all want to know the secret to.

But there is no secret.

As a seasoned working mom, I absolutely would have figured out the key or the secret by now. So, while I cannot share that; there is something I can share.

When it comes to balance, experience will help.

Don’t let that defeat you if you are a new mom grasping at any help when it comes to finding a balance in raising children while also maintaining a career you love. Learn from moms who have been through it. I am a very strong believer in community to uplift us in life. A community of moms like that here at All Mom Does can truly help pull us up and strengthen us as parents.

In my current state of imbalance, I am pulling on my experience as a mom to achieve a few things:

1) Remind myself this is a season and it’s not forever.

I know my work sometimes pulls me hard like it is now. But that is not the norm.

2) Remind myself I am not alone.

I used to feel guilty pulling on my husband to take on more. But in a household with two working parents, sometimes one parent is going to have to carry more when it comes to kids, cooking and running household sorts of things. A lot of time that defaults to mom which is I think why I used to feel bad. We should not feel bad if dad does more kid drop off and pick up and cooking sometimes.

3) Give grace to myself.

If the laundry piles up or we eat fast food more than normal in a week, who cares.

4) Set boundaries.

This is something I wish I would have learned earlier in life as a working mom. Setting boundaries at work and personal life is really important and feels so good. I strongly encourage all moms to try it.

Times like I am currently experiencing at work are never fun. Despite my experience making it easier for me to more easily accept when things become very off-balance; it still doesn’t mean I enjoy it. But it also doesn’t mean I don’t continue striving to get some sort of balance back. Not a perfect balance as I know that is nearly impossible, but a balance that makes me feel like nothing is totally off kilter like it currently is.

If you are struggling with finding balance as a mom, you are not alone. There are going to be phases of parenthood, particularly for those of us who work full time, where that scale for balance is very uneven. I pray we can all give ourselves grace. Things will ebb and flow and I promise you that you are doing a fantastic job. We are all just doing the very best that we can and that includes during seasons that seem to come with more struggle than others.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble (Matthew 6:33-34)

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

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