Merry Christmas! As the anticipation of the Advent season continues to build and we inch closer to Christmas Day, parents of college students have extra reason for anticipation: their student(s) are coming home! The family will be back together and all is right with the world again. It is truly a joyous occasion. As someone who has journeyed with Christian college students for 15 years (not counting the years I was a college student myself), I have heard countless stories over the years of student experiences when they returned home for the holidays. I’ve been asked to share a few tips for parents of college students as they prepare for their student’s return home for Christmas break.
This post is sponsored by Northwest University.
Here they are, in no particular order:
- Celebrate that they are home and reward them for working hard this semester by stocking the fridge and pantry with some of their favorite food. Nothing is more relieving than returning home to the people and food that you love!
- Though we all like to assume that our student was organized, prepared, and diligent in their studies, the reality is that the overwhelming majority of college students will procrastinate. Finals week and sleep deprivation too often go hand-in-hand. In the days after finals week, many students are catching up on their beloved sleep. Try to keep this in mind and assume the best—that they are sleeping because they just worked really hard! This is not the time to make jokes about them being lazy or not leaving the couch. I would caution against too many expectations or major plans for those first days back home. Give them a judgment-free space to rest and recuperate for a few days.
- Create space for supportive conversations. Though it can be hard to accept: your student is now an adult and is beginning to make their own way. Though some students will naturally come to parents for advice, others need the space to develop autonomy and are averse to being told what to do. Don’t come on too strong here! Assure that these conversations leave them feeling that you support them and believe in them. Try asking more questions than making statements. Ask them about the semester and how it went. Ask them about their studies and what they are learning. Ask about their calling and how God is moving in that process. Rather than jumping in to solve problems, help them process how they can go about solving their own problems. These conversations go a long way in your student’s becoming. The transition to adulthood can be bumpy road and every emerging adult is trying to balance two things: healthy autonomy and supportive relationships. Help them build confidence on both fronts by asking good questions and being good company on their journey.
- Students often assume that coming home for Christmas is a return to the familiar. Changes at home—be it relationships with family or friends, or even just the physical environment—can create a bit of a crisis. Many students return to campus in January and talk with classmates or student affairs professionals about how things just weren’t the same back at home. Frankly, many students fail to appreciate that their family and friends are also growing, changing, and transitioning as well. Negotiating and refining relationships is an important task in the transition to adulthood and to healthy family dynamics. Invite your student to name and process through some of these changes with you. Navigating transition as a family is everyone’s task.
I hope these tips are helpful to you and your family. I’m praying this Christmas is a wonderful time for your family to celebrate Christ’s birth and to enjoy one another.
by Rick Engstrom, Dean of Students, Northwest University
Northwest University is committed to offering the best academic experience for our online learners. With a vast catalog of online course options – including several degrees that can be completed 100% online – we provide robust technological support and learning resources to help every student succeed.
With traditional programs as well as flexible online learning options, there’s plenty of options at Northwest University. Providing academic support, spiritual growth opportunities, and thriving community, we have everything to help your child grow academically, spiritually, and personally. Learn about the comprehensive supports Northwest University offers its students and schedule a visit today!
