Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different… -C.S. Lewis
Before I had kids, I greatly underestimated how fast time would really go and how quickly they would jump from one stage to the next. No matter how many mothers offer their wisdom about children growing up and out of your arms in the blink of an eye, it’s not something you can really grasp until you look back. I can’t even fathom what that will feel like when my kids are all grown and have graduated from high school and beyond, but even in the nearly thirteen years I’ve been a mom I sometimes wonder how we got here. All of the sudden your sweet toddler who used to say how much he loves you from his booster seat is becoming a teenager, or that tiny new baby that you just brought home is already toddling around the house. We encourage and nurture their growth while trying to soak in every precious stage while we can. Sometimes you don’t even notice how rapidly the seasons of motherhood have gone by, and when that perspective hits it just floods your heart.
There has been a lot of that around my house lately. To be honest, it’s been quite an emotional rollercoaster as motherhood so often turns out to be! Our one-year-old just wrapped up nursing and is officially weaned, our five-year-old is headed off to kindergarten in a few months, our second son recently hit double digits, and our oldest just said goodbye to the elementary school he has known for seven years and will be starting junior high this fall. These are big changes, and whether you have one child or five, transitions can be hard.
Moms who have nursed their babies know that it is a journey! It can go smoothly, be full of challenges, or fall anywhere in between. With my first three I was relieved when those days were behind me. This last one though, it has been hard to see it come to an end. I’m sure a lot of that comes from knowing I will never again have that experience or connection. It’s the end of an era and reminds me that the baby days are over for us. Part of me wants to celebrate and cheer because my gosh-pregnancy, childbirth, and that first year are a doozy!
I am eternally grateful for those years filled with love and incredibly sweet memories, but they were also very difficult and depleting. The transition from baby to toddler is bittersweet, and regardless of whether you breastfed or bottle fed, it often feels like you are mourning the end of that stage. We can look back on it with a full heart and appreciate the time that we had. It’s ok to shed some tears as they move on. We form such a close bond with our babies during that first year, and then we get to watch it bloom into something even greater. They may not need us in the same way that they did as babies, but they will still need us in new and exciting ways.
If you have a child who is starting kindergarten, you know how emotional that transition can be as well! It’s always been tough for me to see the preschool years come to an end. Our little ones are full of curiosity and affection at that age. They see wonder everywhere, believe in the impossible, have no shame, speak honestly, sing sweetly, and want to spend every moment with their parents. They start to develop more specific interests and their personalities really begin to take shape. Although that stage doesn’t disappear the day they go to kindergarten, it still hits us that they are embarking on a whole new journey. One that will take them over peaks and through valleys and shape who they become. The snuggly preschool days give way to busy school days, and each year passes by faster than the last. It can be an even bigger adjustment if they are used to being home with you and will suddenly be gone for six hours a day! I know my son will have a blast at kindergarten this fall, just like his brothers did before him.
Sure, he will be exhausted and need some extra hugs, but I know he is ready and it’s time. It will break my heart a little to wave goodbye to him that first day, and that’s ok because he is just going to see me smiling and blowing him a kiss and he’ll be none the wiser. He will march into that school with his big brother and not worry about me one bit, and that’s exactly as it should be. My eyes will fill with tears on the way home, I’ll take a deep breath, say a prayer for him to be safe at school, and move on with the day. I’ll forever cherish the years he had at home with me and can’t wait to see how he grows and changes in this next stage.
Teenagers and junior high. When I hear those words, I cringe a little as I remember my own experience during those years. It feels like my husband and I were just there, and now I look in the rear view mirror and see my almost thirteen year old. I sometimes think, “Who’s kid is this? I couldn’t possibly have a child that’s starting 7th grade! He was just in preschool!” Seeing him become a young man has been an incredible ride. I know we’ve got some years to go before he is driving and graduating from high school so I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but looking back I just don’t know where the time went. I miss those years when he was really young and I will forever hold them close to my heart. We may not read him bedtime stories or hold his hand anymore, but there are so many good things that come as they get older.
Transitions can be hard for both kids and parents. Some are much bigger than others, and maybe down the road we look back at a few of them and realize they were just a tiny blip in the grand scheme of things. Maybe you’re transitioning your child from a crib to a toddler bed, taking away the pacifier, potty training, or you have tried four different kinds of sippy cups because your baby doesn’t want milk in anything but a bottle. Maybe your little one is starting school for the first time this fall or your older child is going to an overnight camp and has never been away from home without you. No matter what stage you and your kids are going through right now, no matter how overwhelming and emotional it is, trust that you aren’t alone.
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
I find so much comfort knowing that God remains the same regardless of my circumstances. Our children grow and our lives change, but He is always there and promises to sustain us.
“Lord Jesus, please give me wisdom as a mother. Help me to guide my children through every stage they encounter and show them how to rely on you in every circumstance. Help me to trust you more each day and please comfort my children and I, especially when change is hard. Amen.”
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Read more of Maria’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
