Valentine’s Day is coming.
To some, Valentine’s Day is a fun day to celebrate those we love. To others it is a day where salt is rubbed in their wounds as they spend another day alone. Still other people view it as a silly made-up holiday created by greeting card companies, florists, and candymakers.
I loved the Valentine’s Day school parties when I was young. We made mailboxes and our classmates dropped cards and sometimes candy in them. Everyone was included and no one was without a Valentine. We ate cupcakes, drank juice, and read our cards. After I took mine home, I would read and reread them. I wish life continued to be so fair and everyone would still feel loved.
I thought about how Valentine’s Day has morphed in my life, from those school days to the years I spent alone and feeling unloved, to new love and marriage and then to the precious years of homemade cards made by my children (and now my grandchildren).
I remember the first Valentine’s Day after I had a boyfriend. I was so excited. All those years with no one and finally I imagined an epically romantic day. So, how did it go? We had a huge fight instead of the lovey-dovey day I had imagined. My husband’s love-language is not gift-giving or mushy cards so he did not live up to the hype in my brain. I was furious.
I’ve grown past wild expectations. My husband and I have a deal: no cards or gifts on Valentine’s Day. He shows me his love in countless ways every day. I have no need for him to prove it on holidays that cause him stress. We usually eat lunch out and then retreat to our chairs and hold hands while we watch a favorite show in the evening.
I feel bad for the moms who still want to be swept off their feet on Valentine’s Day. Unless romance is their husband’s love language, they are likely to be disappointed. One word of advice; if a magical Valentine’s Day is your desire, let your husband know IN DETAIL. Husbands aren’t mind-readers, spell it out. Say, “I want flowers and candy and then I want to go out for dinner and I want you to dress up.” Make it very clear and then give him grace if he falls a bit short.
I always think of my single and widowed friends in February. How are they feeling? Are they sad? Do they know that they are loved? Is there something I can do to make Valentine’s Day a bit happier? Send a card? Drop off some treats? Have a coffee date?
As I’ve been thinking of Valentine’s Day and the different ways we look at it, it hit me that we all do have a Valentine and when we feel alone, it is nothing but a big lie.
Our Valentine is perfect. He has seen us at our worst and still loves us. He has listened to us whine, He has watched us sin and has forgiven us. And He never lets us down.
As we head towards this wonderful, complicated, controversial holiday let’s keep that in mind. We are perfectly loved. It doesn’t matter if we don’t get gifts. It doesn’t matter if we live alone. And it doesn’t matter if we feel unlovable.
WE ARE LOVED!
Note: Love is mentioned over 500 times in the Bible. A quick dive will give you lots of scriptures to study.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:7-8
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Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
