It was truly a long time coming. My husband and I and a group of friends had been talking for several years about eventually taking an adults-only trip to Mexico. We had decided to plan it the year some of the group would be celebrating a milestone birthday. The 1982 crew AKA turning 40!
Now, everyone sits differently on the subject of vacationing without kids. For our group of friends, a vacation sans kids was nothing new. We all have kids turning twelve this year and for most of the group, dozens of couples-only vacations had been taken as a way for them to reenergize and reconnect as a couple.
But then there was my husband and I.
The most we had done together was two local nights away in our nearly twelve years of parenting. We have separately gone on a two-or-three night guys’ or girls’ trips but that means the other parent is with the kids. Being gone together for more than two nights was a whole new adventure.
When my kids were younger I just gave a hard pass to any thoughts or invites to leave the kids when our friends went on couples’ vacations. This was always respected but it did mean we missed out on several trips. Honestly, I was always ok with it.
But this new adventure was something we slowly started to feel ready for.
There are a lot of things that come into play when exploring a vacation without kids. The first obvious one is – who will watch the kids? For many, the planning stops there because not everyone has the luxury of family or close friends who will help out. There are also just a lot of logistics to deal with. Kids’ school and extracurricular schedules; sometimes the thought of delegating that for a few days is too much to even want to deal with. Then there is the never-ending mom guilt. We have this no matter what, but for me it seemed to amplify at the mere thought of getting on an airplane with my husband and no kids.
As we begun planning, things fell into place.
My amazing mom and step-dad were willing and excited to have the kids. My kids were excited to be spoiled. My husband had zero hesitations.
But then there was me.
We only have a certain amount of years and opportunities for vacations with our kids until they are grown. Enter that mom guilt. But with everyone else on board and plans coming into place, I started to feel ready.
So off we went. Five nights with no kids to a fantastic all-inclusive adults-only resort in Mexico. It was truly amazing. The uninterrupted time with my husband, laughing until it hurt with our friends, the free-flowing drinks. It was the perfect couples’ vacation.
But here is what I learned.
As wonderful as it was and as much fun as we did have, it’s not for me. I also learned that this doesn’t mean I am out on having uninterrupted time with my husband; it just means that maybe one or two local nights is my limit.
Knowing how to recharge and reconnect as a couple is incredibly important. That means different things for every couple. There is no right or wrong answer, and there’s no need for any of us to throw our own opinions into it.
If you are reading this thinking about how to better recharge and reconnect, allow yourself some trial and error with it. But in the midst of those errors, I promise you that good lessons will come along with some fun intertwined as well.
Do you take vacations without your kids? Why or why not?
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
