Tis the season right now for all things related to change, resolutions, a better version of you. Most forms of media right now are completely focused on pushing miracle ways for 2024 to be the year that we finally meet some goal or have some crazy transformation.
I don’t think it’s a terrible thing; the idea to start anew and reshape things in our lives. I have had many years where I make the list of resolutions and I have a really fun time doing so. If you find yourself wanting some motivation or ideas for that sort of list, we have you covered here.
This year, the idea of making a list just became yet another thing that was looming over me. I do want to do things like drink more water, pray more intentionally and get more steps in each day. But I know that writing it down on a piece of paper isn’t going to do much for me this year.
I was texting with some of my fellow All Mom Does bloggers recently and one of them said they get the sense that moms just have extra pressure these days and are just feeling drained. I felt those words in my soul because it speaks so true for where I am in my current season of parenting.
Reflecting back on 2023 and what I think I need in 2024, one thing keeps coming to my mind.
Say no.
Easier said than done, yes I am well aware of that.
It’s not always possible to say no, yes I am well aware of that too.
But when I think about adding things to my already busy plate or setting some goal that could easily just be setting myself up for disappointment and failure later; my answer is no.
If saying no is something you too could start doing more of but it feels really uncomfortable like it does for me, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Is this required for my job? Sometimes a flat out no is not going to jive in the workplace. But sometimes, it’s worth challenging it.
- Am I passionate about it? There may be things that add to your plate but are also an outlet you need. A weekly women’s church group for example. It adds to your schedule but can likely fill you up in ways you genuinely need and that make you feel good.
- What does my partner think? When I have signed up for too much, I can leave my husband to bear more of a burden as well. I now try to remember how my saying yes actually impacts my entire family.
- Is there an easier way? Things like classroom parties or even snacks for a soccer game don’t have to be from a Pinterest board. What if you just simplified it?
- What will happen if I say no? I guarantee you more times than not the impact will be microscopic. We often make it seem bigger than it is (“I have to host the church group this week!” No. No, you don’t).
I put this to the test on New Years Eve.
Our very close friends were hosting a party with adults and kids. Opening up their gorgeous home to what could be chaos with a large group of people. Myself, husband and our two kids were really excited to ring in the new year with everyone.
Except one thing.
I wasn’t feeling up to staying up past midnight. I decided to say no. Not no to attending the party. See, that’s the thing about learning to say no; it doesn’t have to be some dramatic event. It can be small or simply help to modify something to better fit your life.
I said no to staying the entire time. My kids and husband wanted to so I drove separate; luckily our friends live about a 4-minute drive from our house. I didn’t need my no to put a damper on their evening and this solution was perfect.
We all had a super fun evening and the fun kept going after I left. I felt slightly guilty as I left not long after East Coast New Year’s ball had dropped because the I was having such a great time. But climbing into bed at a reasonable hour in a quiet house was exactly what I needed.
Take this as permission to test out saying no. To sit in what might be a little uncomfortable. I pray that 2024 is a year of growth and prosperity for all of us and that we find a renewed strength in Jesus. Allow yourself to bask in that strength as you reflect on your year ahead.
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31).
RELATED:
PIN THIS!
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
