It’s not always about the amount of money you have, but rather how you choose to manage it. Crown Financial Ministries has some great, FREE resources available to AllMomDoes readers looking for some guidance – check them out here!
I remember hearing a quote a few years ago from a famous young heiress. She said that as a child she knew she could get anything she wanted. It was just a matter of wearing her parents down.
I actually felt sorry for her. She had been robbed of a crucial part of childhood. She never experienced the ache of wanting something so badly you felt like you’d die if you didn’t get it. She never knew the waiting and wondering if you’d receive that special toy for your next birthday. She never had to do boring chores in the hope that she could earn enough money to buy it for herself.
I grew up on the other end of the spectrum. I can remember lying in bed listening to my mother cry while she wondered out loud how she would pay the bills. The sound of her sobbing haunts me and it affects my relationship with money to this day. It was just way too much “honesty” for a child to process.
When I was raising my own children, we lived paycheck to paycheck. Because I had opted to stay home for a big chunk of my kids’ childhoods, money was tight. Every payday I would pay the bills and then divide the tiny remainder by fourteen and that gave me the amount we could spend each day.
I spared the kids the sound of any crying about it, but I decided early on to be completely honest with them about our financial situation. I showed them the checkbook and told them how much we had to spend for that day. I explained that if we bought the impulse items they saw at the grocery store, we wouldn’t have any money left for dinner. And, they accepted that as simple fact.
Because they were included in our budgeting process, they had a vested interest in making ends meet. When they asked for a toy, a simple: “I’m sorry, we don’t have the money for that” was enough to satisfy them. They policed each other in stores, reminding their siblings of how much (or how little) we had to spend that day.
And, when they did receive something, they were thrilled and cherished it. They loved the garage sale toys they hunted for with their dad. Hand-me-down boxes of clothes from older cousins were reasons to celebrate.
My daughter is now raising her kids in the same fashion, more by choice than necessity. It annoys her no end when we over-buy for holidays. She remembers using her imagination to create games out of the things we had around the house and she wants her kids to have that same experience. In this society we live in, it seems more and more people are expecting things for free and she does not want to foster that sense of entitlement in her children.
If you ask my kids, they will say that they didn’t miss out on anything in childhood. And, they are now responsible adults who pay their bills on time and don’t look to anyone else to dig them out of trouble. Because we included them in the small, daily financial decisions when they were young, they had lots of time to practice.
Of course, I had it “easy” because we were money challenged. It is much harder for wealthy parents to put limits on their children because they know they “could” buy whatever their kids ask for. For these parents, a firm “No” with no backsliding will have to do.
It’s not always about the amount of money you have, but rather how you choose to manage it. Crown Financial Ministries has some great, FREE resources available to AllMomDoes readers looking for some guidance – check them out here!
