There once lived a man named Jeremiah. Part of his story is often memorized and repeated today, even displayed in babies’ nurseries written beautifully in lovely fonts: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jeremiah 1:5). Lovely sentiment, isn’t it, that God knew Jeremiah and had a plan for him even before his birth? But in reality, that bit of scripture is just a tiny little part of an ongoing argument between Jeremiah and God himself. Jeremiah was basically saying, “God, I am way too young to speak for you. I am not cut out for this.” And God is pretty much telling him, “Listen, I have had this planned for a long time, I’m putting the words you will need directly into your mouth. I already know this is going to happen.”
Jeremiah was an Old Testament prophet tasked with warning the people of Jerusalem of their impending doom. His was not a job to be jealous of. No corner office or widespread respect or reverence for him. Pretty much everyone teased and mocked him. Few took him seriously. He is known by modern theologians as “The Weeping Prophet”. So basically he’s gone down in history as a big, fat crybaby.
We have the luxury of seeing the full story from the Bible and we know that Jeremiah was never able to convince God to release him of his duty. But Jeremiah didn’t know that, so he tried to argue his way out of it. Over and over again he tried to avoid God’s plan for him and the result was quite unpleasant. When Jeremiah tried to NOT prophesy, he felt like he had fire in his bones! “But if I say I’ll never mention him or speak anymore in his name, his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones! I am weary of holding it in! Indeed, I cannot!” (Jeremiah 20:9)
Now, I’ve experienced some discomfort in my days. I backache here and there. A sprained ankle or twisted knee. Heck, I’ve gone through childbirth a couple of times but I’ve never experienced anything that I would compare to a fire in my bones. That’s some pretty intense, colorful language that Jeremiah used to describe how miserable he was when he tried to turn away from the plan that God had for him. I get the impression that Jeremiah was trying really hard to describe just how awful it was to deny God’s desire for him. And I believe I have experienced something similar to that.
What Jeremiah calls a fire in his bones I would describe as more of an itch I couldn’t scratch. Have you ever had one of those? Right there in the middle of your back. You can’t really get to it from the top and when you reach up from below you just can’t seem to get to that spot right there in the middle of your shoulder blades. You try to ignore it but the more you try to not think about it, the more you obsess about it. Ever been there?
“The Itchiness” is a crummy place to be because it seems to take a bit of time experiencing the discomfort before I am able to recognize that God is trying to get my attention. These seasons usually involve me being heartbroken about something. In recent years in my own life I’ve been been heartbroken and “itchy” about the homeless in my community and about kids in foster care. I typically spend a few weeks or months sad and grumpy and looking around for someone to DO SOMETHING!! You know, “itchy”.
It generally takes a bit of time before I recognize that God is trying to get my attention. That He is breaking my heart for a purpose so that I will be moved to make a positive change. The longer it takes for me to realize His plan, the longer I feel kind of miserable. Much like Jeremiah, when I am ignoring and/or unable to see God’s plan, I feel pretty rotten. But once I am able to see that I am the one who needs to do something, once I figure out what that something is, and once that itch gets scratched, the relief is so sweet!!
If you’re in a spot right now and your heart feels a little bit broken or you’re feeling a little “itchy”, look around. Is there something God wants you to do? Are you being nudged to act? I’m not saying that’s definitely what’s going on in your life but I will say that if it is, the sooner you’re able to recognize it the sooner you’ll get relief from the fire in your own bones. God knows you. He has known you since you were knit together in your mother’s womb and He has a plan for you. Once you figure out what that plan is, don’t fight it or try to argue your way out of it, don’t assume you’re way to young or old or that you’re not cut out for it. Just rest in the peace that God has set you apart for YOUR part.
Read more of Abbie Mabary’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
