Today is Good Friday. Jesus did something monumental for all of us. Mark 9:31 says…”He said to them, ‘The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise.”
This moment of death on the cross. This really matters. It is a moment we can hardly wrap our heads around.
Here’s the problem. I don’t feel very ‘Jesus-y’ today.
Here is how life is….
We’ve been at home working and schooling for over a month. Every day literally feels the exact same. We get up and we survive and then we do it again the next day. We have no end in sight. Everything feels off and different.
If I don’t have the Good Friday service I am getting ready to attend, with the regular communion, soft music and lights dimmed, I can’t possibly have my Jesus moment, right? How are we supposed to figure this out when we don’t have our usual tools to help us?
I was chatting with Julie Lyles Carr today (the host of The Modern Motherhood Podcast) and we were talking about church and how we are beginning to understand true ministry and what the church really is with the building being stripped away. Have we made going to these activities our idol?
I sat at my desk at work and I thought, ‘How can I even begin to comprehend this day amidst my real life.’
I struggle with holidays and big, important days like this now that we have kids. I want to pass on the perfect, beautiful memories to them. I want to make sure they know Jesus and that he is first in their minds. I want glitter and sparkles and dyed eggs and egg hunts and perfect moments together. I want everything.
And, so far…
My expectations usually fall flat. It’s been anything but perfect. This year especially as I wrap my head around how to make these moments count in my own house.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this because Easter. He is risen and it’s amazing and my life is forever changed by My Jesus. But, I’m weary from figuring out life day to day. My kids haven’t really eaten yet today. We’ve thrown screen time rules out the window. Have I even talked to them about Jesus this week? Mom of the year over here. Like I said, survival mode.
How can I even take a moment to comprehend Easter among all this life?
I don’t have the energy to even open my Bible and read the Easter story because I often feel just tapped out. I have nothing left for Jesus.
Today, it really struck me.
Jesus wants to fill me up. I’m not supposed to fill him up.
He wants to deliver me from perfection and expectation and the I’m not good enough, my traditions fall flat, my kids are too crazy, my motherhood is not what it should be emotions that I have. All gone. My sin of comparison and complaining and trying to do it on my own. Gone.
Please hear this, because I think this freedom is so good and wonderful and I think as moms we just need Jesus so much. We give and give and give and we feel like we can’t take. We need to take Jesus. We need to let him fill us up. We cannot pour in to others if we are not being filled ourselves.
Today, as we ponder the sacrifice Jesus made, I want you to take a Jesus moment. In fact, I want you to take a Jesus moment every day.
You can have a Jesus moment anywhere.
You can have a Jesus moment in the middle of the night while you are nursing your newborn. You can have a Jesus moment while you are sitting in the bathroom (maybe this is your only alone time all day!) You can have a Jesus moment over a take-out cheeseburger at lunch. You can have a Jesus moment if you watch a church live stream tonight. You can have a Jesus moment even if the kids are running around the house screaming.
This moment is not about the perfect place or time. It is not about making sure you read the right book or passage of scripture. This moment is about surrender.
Here is what I want you to do.
Sit down. Or stand up. Just be still.
Take a deep breath in and then out.
Close your eyes.
Whisper, “Jesus, I’m yours. Thank you for the cross. I surrender it all to you.”
He’ll do the rest (he already has!)
