“What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, what if you fly?
I love this quote by Erin Hanson. It reminds me that whenever possible, I should be the one encouraging my children to take a leap. I don’t want to be a mom who is quick to point out what could go wrong and discourage them from even trying.
I think it is safe to say that I’m not alone in thinking (and sometimes over-thinking) about my children’s safety and well-being. From the moment we first hold our precious babies, nothing in the world matters more than their comfort and safety. We hope their heads don’t move too much in the car-seat when we turn a corner, we constantly check to make sure they aren’t too hot or too cold. The list goes on and on, and it evolves as they grow.
What about when they aren’t new babies anymore? What about when they are ready to climb onto the playground or ride a bike without training wheels? Letting go of their little hands can be hard. For mothers in particular, it can be really difficult not to get caught up in controlling every step our kids take. I get it, no one can care for them or understand them exactly the way we do or could know their every quirk.
No matter what age and stage our kids are in, we have to be careful not to hold our children back by micro-managing every move and interaction. Children are more intuitive than we give them credit for. Sometimes, when we prevent them from trying something new, we are unintentionally sending the message that we doubt their abilities even with the smallest of tasks. We can easily become a voice in the back of their minds telling them they can’t do it or shouldn’t try. How heartbreaking would that be? Of all the voices they will hear in this world, we should be one of the biggest sources of encouragement that they ever encounter.
Credit: iStock | Flyparade
Although it pains us to see them suffer, shielding them from every discomfort or hardship will only provide us with very temporary relief.
For them to build confidence in themselves and have courage when they go out into the world, we have to give them the chance to fall down and to fail. It might break our hearts to see them hurting, but how will they know what they are capable of if we don’t let go of their hand sometimes? It is our job and our duty as parents to give them the opportunity to learn, to explore, and to discover their potential. This is just as important for their emotional health as it is for their physical health and development.
There are so many times when they do need our complete protection, especially when they are young and just learning the basics of getting around. Many of our maternal fears are valid and necessary, but could we try to pause a little more often before we tell them not to jump, not to climb, and not to step off the path?
I’m not talking about helicopter parenting versus free-range parenting, but about giving our children the opportunity to grow in confidence. Whether they scraped a knee or you found out that they sat alone on a bench at the playground the entire recess, I am certain that there will be no shortage of times we just want to keep them wrapped in a blanket at home and never let them go through that pain again.
Our mom hearts have the very best intentions. Just remember that we can take comfort in knowing that they will become stronger through every hardship that they face. They will learn how to thrive and persevere. “We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4) What gifts those qualities are!
From falls off a bike to the most challenging seasons they will face in their lives, they are going to need the right tools to overcome it. That is where we come in, and ultimately where God comes in. Sweet moms, the care and tenderness that you show your children can be matched by no one in this world.
So, what small steps can we take to release some control today? How can we instill confidence and sense of adventure in our children? How can we encourage them to grow? I don’t have all the answers, not even close. I do know we can pray for wisdom and the ability to discern when we should step in and when we shouldn’t, when they need to be gently nudged and when they don’t.
We can help them up when they fall and encourage them to try again. We can fill our homes with love and comfort, so that when our children face inevitable obstacles in life, no matter what the age, they will have a safe place to land.
Read more of Maria’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
