It’s been many years since our son woke up in the middle of the night with a fever. He is definitely experiencing side effects after receiving the second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine.
Josh is 20 years old. He’s an online student at Shoreline Community College and a courtesy clerk at our local grocery store. He has worked faithfully throughout the pandemic and never considered quitting. Josh was the first in our family to wear a mask for eight hours, minus breaks of course. Now, he’s the first of our family to be vaccinated.
When I first heard the news that Josh was eligible for the vaccination, I was happy. I gave thanks and texted our family the joyous news.
Then I panicked a little.
The vaccine is in high demand for sure, but after all, how much do we truly know about it? Right now I feel all of those emotions bubbling up in my mom heart like soup that needs a little more salt… or a little more something.
The first dose went off without a hitch. We celebrated. The second dose has our left our son with a fever, body aches, fatigue, and decreased appetite. Josh is not in danger. He’s uncomfortable and watching a Marvel movie.
And I’m watching him. As a mother does. It doesn’t matter how old they are.
I encouraged our son, the frontline hero in our family, to get the vaccine. I still believe it was the right decision, but I wish it was one we never had to make.
Whether it’s about choosing a vaccine or a school or a pet, parenting is always about trying to do what’s best for your child. Sometimes I get to have all the facts and sometimes I just don’t. That’s where prayer and faith come in to guide my heart back to peace.
Near the washing machine today, God reminded me of the Sunday we gave Josh back to Him. He was a baby, dressed in white and held up Simba-like by a pastor. I was a mom trying to gather up our two year old daughter who was attempting to run offstage. Still, I knew the gravity and blessing contained in that moment. We had dedicated our son to God, acknowledging His role in Josh’s life as Lord.
God’s role hasn’t changed, while mine is changing. I can give advice, but Josh is not required to take it. When things get confusing, it’s comforting to know I can pray and lean into the beautiful relationship God designed. He is my Lord too, my Father, my Friend, wise and just, forgiving and gentle. It’s a fitting time to circle back to the knowledge that God loves our son more than I do. He is for our son. He is for me.
I gave Josh some Tylenol capsules earlier. I remember pouring the red liquid into the tiny plastic medicine cup when he was small. The love I feel remains the same. How much more must God’s heart fill with the love He has for you and me?
I can rest today knowing that God is actively involved in Josh’s life, and in mine. For that I’m so grateful.
