It was my second cesarean birth, so I felt like I knew what to expect this time. Things went better than the first time, and I was much more confident leaving the hospital with our second baby girl.
We only lived about 90 seconds by car from the hospital – we could have walked home if it wasn’t for the fact that I just had just given birth. My mother met us at our house only minutes after we walked through the door. Was she there to clean, make us dinner, or hold the baby?
Nope, just to drop off our three-year-old.
Nadine Kohler, Editor and Director of Savvy Family magazine and Savvy Family and Baby Bump Expo events has partnered with AllMomDoes to sponsor this post and bring you this information.
“I can’t stay. I have a lot to take care of since I have been taking care of Char now for a few days,” she explained. And while I appreciated that help and knew that she had helped clean my house before and made us dinner other times, in that moment it still stung.
I remember asking my husband what we were going to do for dinner, and I think he just stared at me with an exhausted look. I mean, he hadn’t slept much now for a few days either.
Where was our village? Had we failed to build one?
In retrospect now, years later, I realize I had justified reasons to be disappointed in this moment, but also reason to believe that I missed key opportunities to build my village.
When you are in the thick of pregnancy and new babies, this thought may not even come to mind. I wish a friend had guided me! I wish my church family had encouraged me to get better connected with other moms.
As they say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, and neither is your village. I know NOW, that it is not too late to create that village, as I found time to dedicate to this endeavor, even with my young kiddos.
I joined our MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) group at our church. I made time to take a meal to someone else that needed one. I drove home someone else’s kid from school, even if it meant rearranging those dreaded car seats to make room for them. These were all investments and foundation bricks into building our village. We were becoming part of a community that supported one another.
This importance of finding and creating your village is what inspired the creation of Savvy Family. Savvy Family is a print and digital magazine encouraging parents throughout the PNW and beyond.
Savvy Family produces an annual family expo event that provides family fun, education options, cool product highlights, and hopefully encourages and connects parents to finding and building their own village.
Start with one brick – attend the expo. Add another brick – join a parent group (like PEPS, who will also be at the show). Keep adding bricks – help a friend with a meal. Before long, you will discover that your friends and “village” will begin adding bricks alongside you!
Fast forward to 2017 and I found myself extremely ill and admitted to the hospital for days. While I worried about my health and the emotional impact it would have on our kids seeing me like this, I did not have to worry about my family being fed, rides for the kids, and day-to-day stuff.
We had grocery shopping checked off the list and in fact had quick meals ready to go for a month! The kids had playdates and after-school pickups taken care of. Our village had spoken LOUD and clear! We heard them say, “We care about you and we are here to help”!
And mom – if you read this – I LOVE YOU!
Join us at the Baby Bump and Savvy Family Expos sponsored by AllMomDoes on March 3rd!
Children 12 and under are FREE and tickets are on sale now.
We hope to see you there!
