This weekend my daughter is going to go on her first ever retreat. It’s a short weekend starting Friday after school and going to Sunday Morning. Two nights basically at a church camp. Super fun, right? No problems. No stress. Blog done.
Here is how it actually went in the brain of a real mom.
Scene Opens. 3 Weeks Ago.
Me: Ellie, I really think you should go to church camp. You get to ride horses. It will be super fun. You can be with your friends.
Ellie: No.
Me: But you can have so much fun and you’ll learn a lot!
Ellie: I don’t know.
Me texting the other moms with kids going: Please tell your daughters to pitch the camp to Ellie so she will consider going.
Ellie: I think I want to go. I talked with my friend Kate and it sounds fun. And I want to be in a fun picture like the ones on the wall of the Sunday School room.
Influencer in the making I have a feeling.
Me: Great. I signed you up.
New Scene. 1 Week Before Event
Me (Inside Voice): Can she actually handle a weekend away? Can you handle it? What if something happens? What if people make fun of her for something? What if she breaks an arm? What if she doesn’t get to bunk with her friends? What if you have to drive and get her because she won’t stop crying?
Also Me at the same time (Inside Voice): She is going to have so much. I wish I could go. She’s going to love riding horses. She is going to bond with her friends. She is going to grow in her faith. I can’t wait for her to learn some more independence.
Does this sound familiar to you? You have these two warring feelings inside AT THE SAME TIME! Being a mom is so complicated. Sometimes I wish I could just feel one thing at a time? Just happiness without the what ifs.
I’ve had to really keep this in check because I can be sort of a buzz kill at times with all the what ifs that race through my head. I am not kidding when I tell you that normally when we are planning things I am thinking about all the things that could happen and I’m trying to prepare for them all even while planning for the actual thing. Maybe this can be a good quality. I am mostly prepared a lot. Sometimes though it can steal the joy from things and I think I try to overplan God.
I think of him smiling and just saying, “Rest. Enjoy.”
I’m trying to impart that on my daughter this weekend when I say, “I know you are nervous. I am too. But let’s trust God and choose joy. Let’s just enjoy the weekend ahead. Let’s anticipate what God has for us and know that he always has our best in mind.”
Here is to choosing joy. Here is to trusting God. Here is to allowing my daughter a moment to grow and knowing this isn’t the hardest thing she’ll ever have to do…or I’ll have to do. Here is to remembering that God has my daughter in the palm of his hand even when I’m not with her.
We can do this. First weekend retreat. Here we go.
