Wife Confession: I Don’t Like to Cuddle

Do you remember the excitement of waking up next to your spouse when you were newlyweds? The days when weekend mornings consisted of just the two of you figuring out what the day ahead would entail? Maybe you’d stay in bed, fall back asleep, head to brunch, head to the gym, or just do whatever you please. The days when you had time for morning cuddles, if your heart so desired.

I was reminiscing over this the other day when my husband of over ten years stopped me in my tracks.

“You’ve never liked cuddling” he said.

Initially, I started building an argument against this statement. Certainly I used to love cuddling. Doesn’t every newlywed love it? Isn’t the only reason I don’t cuddle very much these days simply because we are busy with full time jobs and raising our two elementary school-aged kids? Weekend mornings no longer belong to us. They belong to soccer games or play dates or a house that isn’t going to clean itself.

But then I paused and realized something that is always super annoying. My husband was right. Fourteen years together and it turns out he knows me better than I know myself, in some ways. If I think back to over a decade ago when we were first married, I recall feeling then like I feel now when it comes to cuddling up; it’s not my thing. I don’t know if it’s because I am a bit type A and constantly feel like there are things I need to be doing and just sitting or lying there seems like a waste of time. Or maybe it’s because physical touch has never been top on my love language priority. That could explain why even at night, I don’t love the idea of falling asleep in a cuddling position.

Despite what you might be thinking, I am not some stone cold wife. My husband’s love language is physical touch so while that does pose a challenge, I make a conscious effort to ensure I put that as a priority. We just both recognize my limitations when it comes to my desire to cuddle up for any extended period of time.

Here is where this confession makes me feel extra guilty as a wife; when it comes to my kids, I am all about the cuddles. At six and almost nine, I feel blessed that they both still love cuddling up with me and I hope those days are not numbered. But confessing that makes me pause and think about the possible negative way it makes my husband feel.

But then I smile and think, “well he still married me knowing this about me so that’s on him.” I say that tongue in cheek but in reality, I think he appreciates my efforts to still ensure I meet his love language. There are days I feel cuddly and I make sure to really let him take advantage of that. Just as long as he remembers my limits.

There you have it moms. My wife confession. Are you all about the cuddles or do you prefer a bit of space?

I’m Touched Out

When Your Love Language Changes