I was chatting with a mom at school pick-up the other day about how crazy life gets as the kids get older and as their extracurriculars intensify with more practices each week. I mentioned that I often rush off a work call so I can pick up the kids from school and then it often feels like the day has only begun. Considering she had just been agreeing with me about the busyness of things, I expected a response typical to what usually happens at these high-level school pick up chats; a nod or continued conversation around our kids and scheduling.
But instead, I received the following in response:
“I am blessed that my husband provides for us so I don’t have to work.”
My initial reaction honestly was just a giant “whaaat?” It was perplexing as to why she would throw not only being blessed into this conversation but also relating that to not working. The response I actually gave was a generic and quiet “ok” because I literally didn’t know what else to say.
This isn’t the first time I have been told by another mom that they are blessed for this reason. I have not come up with any response other than, “ok” because the other thoughts that swirl in my head may not come out very kind. Thoughts like the fact that my husband actually can provide financially for our family, too, yet I find purpose in having a career and being a mom. Working gives me drive as a mom and being a mom gives me drive at work. It’s an awesome thing.
No, I can’t say any of that. I would then be the mom that fired off to another mom at school pickup. You know what else I really want to say that I just can never bring myself to?
I am blessed to be a working mom.
But I know that would not be well received.
Or maybe it would and I am just too chicken to actually try it out. Maybe I feel like sometimes throwing around the word “blessed” is an attempt to portray that the other person is not. I don’t think that is the intent but it can feel this way when you’re on the receiving end of it.
It sometimes feels like there is an age-old battle of the working versus stay-at-home mom. And there really shouldn’t be. We could each make a mile-long list of what is great and not-so-great about both.
Here is the truth I hope I can remind myself: We are all blessed. Blessed to get to be a mom and have that be a strong part of the path that God set for us.
The next time I am hit with a response like this, I hope I can give a genuine and enthusiastic “that’s awesome! I am blessed to be a working mom and love that we both feel our paths are a blessing!”
Or something of that nature.
Proverbs 19:21: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”
