In my nine years of being a mom, I can tell you that there has not been a stage that isn’t overwhelming in some way. Just when something gets easier like being done with the diaper stage, you enter some other challenge like PTA politics and teenage emotions (not looking forward to that one). It doesn’t get easier, it just changes and presents different challenges.
In some ways I feel a sense of accomplishment for somehow hanging in there for nine years so far. But, I also know that we are forever parents no matter how old our kids get.
But despite wondering if being a parent will always leave me feeling overwhelmed, there is something I have come to realize.
The older I get, the older my kids get, the less I care.
Say what?! Are we allowed to say that as moms? Well, I just did.
It’s obviously not that I care less about my kids. As they get older and turn into these amazing people, my heart really does become more and more full.
But when it comes to trying to worry about every little thing, I have found that I simply don’t care.
During last summer camp season, I strived to be the first person in line to pick up their campers. It’s kind of embarrassing in hindsight because I think perhaps that made me feel like a better mom if I was there first. The truth is, nobody cares. Including the campers. It literally makes no difference. I decided this year to stop caring. This summer, I am no longer having an internal panic attack if I pull up to see a line already forming for pick up. Instead, I sit in my car and chill on my phone until that line dies down. Then I waltz in, pick them up and off we go.
Think about some of the silly things you run yourself ragged for that truly do not matter.
I was roped into becoming PTA President for an entire school year which felt like an eternity. For those moms with the capacity for such roles, I think you are awesome. But for this full-time working mom, I am officially done with biting off more than I can chew with roles like that. I still care about the PTA and will gladly throw some money at fundraisers. But I no longer care about being as involved as I once was.
Even daily things like sibling rivalry. Yes, this drives me absolutely crazy. But I have found that the less I act like I care, the less of a reaction the kids try to get out of me. The more of a reaction equals the more tattling on each other and other things that turn me quickly into mean mom. I quit caring constantly about making my kids love each other all the time. Instead, I let them battle it out.
The more seasoned I become as a parent, the more I realize that I cannot care 100% about 100% of things because the math simply doesn’t add up unless I want to give myself a total nervous breakdown.
There you have it. My advice to you. Care less. Or at least stop trying to bend over backwards to care about things that truly don’t matter. We have enough on our plates as moms on any given day that we simply have to just tell ourselves to stop caring about certain things in certain seasons of our lives.
Related:
When Parenting Has You Overwhelmed
The Most Important Season of Motherhood
I Joined the PTA. Here’s What Happened Next.
Parenting From the Couch: The Surprise Benefits of Lazy Mothering
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
